The Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre, Bolaji Idowu, has advised married women to refrain from labelling their husbands as unfaithful, even in cases of infidelity, urging them instead to speak positively over their spouses.
The cleric gave the counsel in a sermon that has since gone viral on social media, where he warned that repeatedly describing a partner as a “serial cheater” could reinforce negative behaviour rather than correct it.
According to him, wives should avoid confessing their husbands’ wrongdoing and instead declare righteousness over them, noting that words have the power to influence conduct.
“Any small thing, ‘my husband is a serial cheater.’ You are adding to the problem by saying it,” he said during the service.
Idowu urged women to adopt a different approach by affirming their husbands’ moral standing, even in moments of failure.
“If your husband cheats, speak righteousness out of him. Tell him, ‘I know what you did was wrong, but you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. You are a holy man,’” he said.
The pastor explained that such affirmations could help reshape behaviour over time, stressing that believers are expected to “speak light” in situations of wrongdoing.
Illustrating his point with a biblical reference, Idowu cited the story of Lazarus, noting that Jesus spoke life despite the prevailing reality of death.
“Everyone responds to words. People rise or fall based on what is spoken over them. Don’t say what you see; say what you want,” he added.
His comments have since sparked mixed reactions online, with many debating the implications of his message on accountability in relationships.
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